Saturday, 9 June 2012

Blunt vs Sharp

Countdown to exam #1: 20 days
Readiness: 4/10
Anxiety: ++

For medics out there, the blog title should have triggered 2 words "spinothalamic tract." For non-medics who know me well, the word blunt might have triggered my name into your thoughts.

Yes, I am quite blunt. I admit to this.  I find this attribute to be both a strength and weakness. I can't really pinpoint how I came about in acquiring this characteristic but I believe it to be both a phenomenon of nurture and nature.
Nurture: only child syndrome, critical chinese thinking and being Canadian.
Nature: it's who God designed me to be - my inbuilt personality

At its very best, being blunt is seen as sincere, honest and genuine
At its worst,  bluntness is seen as inconsiderate, hurtful and inappropriate.

With everything in life, moderation is key - as is bluntness.

Having spent a significant amount of time in Britain, Brits are everything but blunt. They are so well mannered that most things they say appears to be a puzzle of implication (almost a verbal treasure hunt if that makes sense). It humours me that when I spend a significant time with a Brit that they slowly conform to my way of bluntness and give me a dose of my own bluntness which is entirely unexpected.

People often tell me that I am so 'blunt' but often I laugh it off. Mostly, I have seen it as a strength as opposed to a weakness but recently I have become more aware that it may be unhelpful.

I spent a significant amount of time with a Canadian friend visiting York recently and although quite different in personality, she voiced her opinions quite loud and clear. It made me reflect how often I speak my own mind without thinking twice of how it may affect others around me. My bluntness is usually expressed with hopes of it being a loving gesture but so easily, it can be interpreted in the opposite way.

In the ways of the Chinese, critiquing is the preferred method for someone to improve and become better at what they do. It is not in hopes of putting them down and making them feel worthless. Although I have grown up in the western culture, this mode of thinking has stuck with me and has affected the way I approach life and people.

So please next time I am blunt and it is hurtful, please do let me know rather than being blunt back (which may be entirely appropriate but also may not be). Also, please forgive me as I say it with the best intentions but it may not come across well.

Saw this posted on a friend's facebook wall recently and thought it to be quite interesting. What are your words? I'll put mine in the PS note.

The First Four Words


Much love,
Carmen

PS Mine are in order : Genuine, Elegant, Dramatic and Passionate

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